I was perusing my latest blog entries and I just remembered a great expression used by 'modern' women here in Brazil on dealing with men, the dating scene, very Sex and the City. I could even imagine Samantha saying it.
'So porque voce quer 300 gramas de salsicha, nao precisa levar o porco inteiro.'
"Just because you want 300 grams of sausage, doesn't mean you need to take home the whole pig.".
In other words, it means why deal with a man all of the time if all you want him for is for 'fun'.
There is a war between the sexes here in Brazil and unfortunately nobody is winning nor do either party want to call a truce....
Wednesday, July 30
Tuesday, July 29
You Know You are Canadian...
You know you are Canadian when...
You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk".
You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine".
You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You know what it means to be on pogey.
You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't want to know if he has!
You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
You know that Mounties "don't always look like that".
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly".
You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
You participated in "Participaction".
You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale , "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".
You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you carry a Canadian passport.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
You were mad when "The Beachcombers" was taken off the air.
You know what a toque is.
You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
You know Toronto is not a province. (...yet)
You never miss "Coaches Corner".
Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk".
You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine".
You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You know what it means to be on pogey.
You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't want to know if he has!
You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
You know that Mounties "don't always look like that".
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly".
You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
You participated in "Participaction".
You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale , "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".
You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you carry a Canadian passport.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
You were mad when "The Beachcombers" was taken off the air.
You know what a toque is.
You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
You know Toronto is not a province. (...yet)
You never miss "Coaches Corner".
Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
Friday, July 25
You Know You are Brazilian When.....
You think American bathing suits are enormous.
You like Guarana better than Coke.
If someone tells you to be at a certain place at 1:00 pm, you don't show up until 2:30 or 3:00 p.m.
You know who Xuxa and Pele are.
You still argue Pele is better than Maradona.
Your entire family goes to grandma's house on Sundays for a big family get together....even when you guys see each other everyday.
You can name at least 30 novelas and 10000 actors/actresses.
You would rather die than see Argentina beat Brazil in soccer.
BBQ means steak, sausage, chicken wings, pork, rice, farofa, molho and beer.
You are the loudest person in the room.
You have a Brazilian flag hanging from your car's rearview mirror.
You travel to Brazil and instead of taking a suitcase with all your stuff, you take presents for the entire family, the dog, the neighbor, not to mention the old/used clothes that you take just in case someone needs it.
You're so proud that you're Brazilian you tell everyone.
You leave your house spotless when you have people coming over.
You have a sweet ass (or you like women with them).
You understand & speak Spanish, but when you say a word in Portuguese no one understands you.
You can drop it like it's hot.
Your jokes are always about Portuguese people.
You take soccer too seriously.
You cried when Brazil lost the world cup.
You go to a birthday party,and you can't leave until you take that piece of cake home.
You know what Capoeira is.
You know a lot about Samba and Pagode.
You eat rice and beans at least 7 days a week.
Your breakfast consists of milk and coffee, bread with butter and a piece of cake.
Everyone thinks you're everything but Brazilian.
You know who Os Trapalhoes, Turma da Monica, Zico, Caetano Veloso, Tom Jobim, Elis Regina, Ronaldinho, Jo Soares, Cazuza, Gilberto Gil, Silvio Santos, Roberto Carlos, Ayrton Senna, amd Carmem Miranda are.
You go to a bar and ask for salgadinhos with guarana.
You are so used to corruption that nothing surprises you anymore.
You know how to play dominoes and cards.
You have a sense of fashion.
You wear slippers..a lot!
You know how to play volleyball and handball.
You take pictures everywhere you go.
You know what it's like to buy liquor without an ID.
You know how to party, and if the party isnt over after 5am...its not a party!
Any holiday...being it official or not, is an excuse to stay home from work and take a week vacation.
You know what feijoada and pave are.
Your favorite drink is Caipirinha.
You dress up to go to the supermarket.
You spend an entire day at the beach.
You are too friendly.
You like it hot and sweaty. Both in and outside of the bedroom.
You make friends everywhere you go.
Cachaca rocks your pants off.
You grew up dancing/singing to Xuxa.
Easter is incomplete without bacalhau.
You own havainas in every color imaginable.
You went to Disney World for your 15th birthday.
No meal is complete without rice, farofa and feijao.
You'll fly Varig even if it's a little more expensive because it's Brazilian.
You like mayonnaise on your hot dogs and Americans think you're crazy for it.
You love coracao de frango.
You own a pair of white pants.
You know what bossa nova and pagode is.
This list has been blatantly plagiarized from a group on Facebook, yet it really nails it on the head of what a Brazilian is(citizen as opposed to the other meaning)
You like Guarana better than Coke.
If someone tells you to be at a certain place at 1:00 pm, you don't show up until 2:30 or 3:00 p.m.
You know who Xuxa and Pele are.
You still argue Pele is better than Maradona.
Your entire family goes to grandma's house on Sundays for a big family get together....even when you guys see each other everyday.
You can name at least 30 novelas and 10000 actors/actresses.
You would rather die than see Argentina beat Brazil in soccer.
BBQ means steak, sausage, chicken wings, pork, rice, farofa, molho and beer.
You are the loudest person in the room.
You have a Brazilian flag hanging from your car's rearview mirror.
You travel to Brazil and instead of taking a suitcase with all your stuff, you take presents for the entire family, the dog, the neighbor, not to mention the old/used clothes that you take just in case someone needs it.
You're so proud that you're Brazilian you tell everyone.
You leave your house spotless when you have people coming over.
You have a sweet ass (or you like women with them).
You understand & speak Spanish, but when you say a word in Portuguese no one understands you.
You can drop it like it's hot.
Your jokes are always about Portuguese people.
You take soccer too seriously.
You cried when Brazil lost the world cup.
You go to a birthday party,and you can't leave until you take that piece of cake home.
You know what Capoeira is.
You know a lot about Samba and Pagode.
You eat rice and beans at least 7 days a week.
Your breakfast consists of milk and coffee, bread with butter and a piece of cake.
Everyone thinks you're everything but Brazilian.
You know who Os Trapalhoes, Turma da Monica, Zico, Caetano Veloso, Tom Jobim, Elis Regina, Ronaldinho, Jo Soares, Cazuza, Gilberto Gil, Silvio Santos, Roberto Carlos, Ayrton Senna, amd Carmem Miranda are.
You go to a bar and ask for salgadinhos with guarana.
You are so used to corruption that nothing surprises you anymore.
You know how to play dominoes and cards.
You have a sense of fashion.
You wear slippers..a lot!
You know how to play volleyball and handball.
You take pictures everywhere you go.
You know what it's like to buy liquor without an ID.
You know how to party, and if the party isnt over after 5am...its not a party!
Any holiday...being it official or not, is an excuse to stay home from work and take a week vacation.
You know what feijoada and pave are.
Your favorite drink is Caipirinha.
You dress up to go to the supermarket.
You spend an entire day at the beach.
You are too friendly.
You like it hot and sweaty. Both in and outside of the bedroom.
You make friends everywhere you go.
Cachaca rocks your pants off.
You grew up dancing/singing to Xuxa.
Easter is incomplete without bacalhau.
You own havainas in every color imaginable.
You went to Disney World for your 15th birthday.
No meal is complete without rice, farofa and feijao.
You'll fly Varig even if it's a little more expensive because it's Brazilian.
You like mayonnaise on your hot dogs and Americans think you're crazy for it.
You love coracao de frango.
You own a pair of white pants.
You know what bossa nova and pagode is.
This list has been blatantly plagiarized from a group on Facebook, yet it really nails it on the head of what a Brazilian is(citizen as opposed to the other meaning)
Views of Rio de Janeiro Seldom Seen
Just a quick collection of some photos,old and new taken here in Rio.,
Lost in Translation....
No matter how well you speak a foreign language, there are certain things that simply get lost in translation. This usually happens when there is a cultural element involved. But there are words that just can't be literally translated. I have spent painful moments reading Portuguese subtitles that were totally misinterpreted when they were translated. What could have been a very funny comedy moment for the public here is trampled by the 'lost in translation'.
Examples of Brazilian/Canadian lost in tranlation moments. The Brazilian versions are really funny in daily vernacular, yet in English they fall flat..
1. Pagar o mico./ Pay the monkey.
In Brazil, to 'pay the monkey' means to be in an embarrassing situation in front of others. ie. Meu tio pagou mico na casamento da Marcia quando ele dancou na mesa/ My uncle paid the monkey at Marcia's wedding when he danced on the table.
2. O mala./The suitcase.
A person who is basically a pain in the butt. Think of Chandler's girlfriend Janice on Friends, when she always runs into him at inoportune moments. Chronically late, unorganized and horrible to travel with. Has spawned more superlative expressions such as
2a. O mala sem alca/The suitcase without a handle
2b. O mala sem alca,sem rodinhas/the suitcase without a handle, without wheels.And my favorite,mala sem alca,sem rodinha,feito de papelao,largada na chuva,cheia de tijolos/A suitcase without a handle, without wheels, made of cardboard, in the rain, full of bricks. In other words, MAJOR pain in the butt all around.
3. Maria Chuteira/Mary Soccer Cleats. A woman that goes out with soccer players. The Queen of the Maria Chuteiras is Victoria Beckham.
4. Maria Parafina/Mary Surfing Wax. Females who chronically date surfers.
5.Explique que um nariz de porco nao e tomada/Try to explain that a pigs nose is not an electrical outlet. Used when dealing with stubborn people that have a set mind, that cannot see the other person's viewpoint.
Thanks to the world of hair removal, the word Brazilian has more than one meaning.
Brazilian
* noun
A person who is a citizen of the country, Brazil. Examples of famous Brazilians: Pele, Santos Dumont, Giselle Bundchen.
AND NOW>>>
Brazilian
• noun
a style of waxing a woman's pubic hair in which almost all the hair is removed, with only avery small central strip remaining.,
Examples of Brazilian/Canadian lost in tranlation moments. The Brazilian versions are really funny in daily vernacular, yet in English they fall flat..
1. Pagar o mico./ Pay the monkey.
In Brazil, to 'pay the monkey' means to be in an embarrassing situation in front of others. ie. Meu tio pagou mico na casamento da Marcia quando ele dancou na mesa/ My uncle paid the monkey at Marcia's wedding when he danced on the table.
2. O mala./The suitcase.
A person who is basically a pain in the butt. Think of Chandler's girlfriend Janice on Friends, when she always runs into him at inoportune moments. Chronically late, unorganized and horrible to travel with. Has spawned more superlative expressions such as
2a. O mala sem alca/The suitcase without a handle
2b. O mala sem alca,sem rodinhas/the suitcase without a handle, without wheels.And my favorite,mala sem alca,sem rodinha,feito de papelao,largada na chuva,cheia de tijolos/A suitcase without a handle, without wheels, made of cardboard, in the rain, full of bricks. In other words, MAJOR pain in the butt all around.
3. Maria Chuteira/Mary Soccer Cleats. A woman that goes out with soccer players. The Queen of the Maria Chuteiras is Victoria Beckham.
4. Maria Parafina/Mary Surfing Wax. Females who chronically date surfers.
5.Explique que um nariz de porco nao e tomada/Try to explain that a pigs nose is not an electrical outlet. Used when dealing with stubborn people that have a set mind, that cannot see the other person's viewpoint.
Thanks to the world of hair removal, the word Brazilian has more than one meaning.
Brazilian
* noun
A person who is a citizen of the country, Brazil. Examples of famous Brazilians: Pele, Santos Dumont, Giselle Bundchen.
AND NOW>>>
Brazilian
• noun
a style of waxing a woman's pubic hair in which almost all the hair is removed, with only avery small central strip remaining.,
Thursday, July 24
Getting a Brazilian...in Brazil
After having a good laugh at the perils of living across from a waxing clinic from DRL, it prompted me to put in my two bits worth about the art of waxing and getting the 'Brazilian'.
First and foremost, privacy is key.
I prefer to get all of my 'girlie' services done at specialized places. Waxing should be done in a waxing studio. My favorite is Depile Downtown. The owner is a sweet elegant lady named Denise, and the place is impeccable. They are specialized in the taffy type wax similiar to the JSisters in NYC. If you chicken out, it can be rinsed off! All of the waxers are clean, in uniform and more important of all, THEY DON'T RECYCLE THE WAX, unlike other places. Gross thought to say the least...
If you want a Brazilian, the name here is Virilha Cavada..pronounced 'virillia kavada'. The waxer will ask if you want a bit left behind or all gone.
They don't use tweezers, as they believe this causes ingrown hairs.
Make sure you wax at least 24 hours before going out in the sun as your skin will be sensitive.
I am a faithful client for years, and I highly recommend this place.
First and foremost, privacy is key.
I prefer to get all of my 'girlie' services done at specialized places. Waxing should be done in a waxing studio. My favorite is Depile Downtown. The owner is a sweet elegant lady named Denise, and the place is impeccable. They are specialized in the taffy type wax similiar to the JSisters in NYC. If you chicken out, it can be rinsed off! All of the waxers are clean, in uniform and more important of all, THEY DON'T RECYCLE THE WAX, unlike other places. Gross thought to say the least...
If you want a Brazilian, the name here is Virilha Cavada..pronounced 'virillia kavada'. The waxer will ask if you want a bit left behind or all gone.
They don't use tweezers, as they believe this causes ingrown hairs.
Make sure you wax at least 24 hours before going out in the sun as your skin will be sensitive.
I am a faithful client for years, and I highly recommend this place.
Car Prices in Brazil...continued
Here is the advert I saw for the Santa Fe in Brazil. Here is the link for the Santa Fe in Canada on the Autotrader Website
Climbing in Rio
After a quick trip back home, I realized how blessed Cariocas are. Here in Rio there are over 400 climbing routes just in the city alone. This guidebook (written in Portuguese with English translations) shows the croquis of all of the climbing routes in and around the Sugar Loaf mountain. Each croqui shows the height and what material will be needed to scale the route.
Climbing equipment is expensive here, so bring your own from home. There are some good mountaineering shops here in Rio but nothing like Mountain Equipment Co-op.
The best time of year to climb is between April and October.
Wednesday, July 23
Driving in Rio...It Will Drive You Crazy
I have been driving since I was 13 years old. I have driven in almost all of the countries I have lived in, including a Vespa and Rollerblading in Paris, a bicycle in Manhattan and a cruise cross country in a 1967 Pontiac Lemans.
NOTHING prepared me for driving on the streets of Rio de Janeiro. If any of my readers has gone around the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, and tried to get off of the go around, well then, you are partly prepared to deal with Rio traffic.
To own a car, one must pay an extranious tax (IPVA) in the neighborhood of 8% of the cars total value on a yearly basis. This tax is to be used for road maintenance. Which brings me to my next point, the road conditions. I wish I had a full time 4x4 4WD vehicle with super suspension. There are holes that have no bottom to them!!! Not only must one drive at Ayrton Senna speed, one must literally dodge the potholes at the same time. Needless to say, the IPVA is misused big time.....
Everyone thinks that they are the incarnation of Ayrton Senna or Nelson Piquet (espcially the men). I think its wonderful that the Brazilian Formula One drivers are doing so well this season, but that doesn't mean that one should emulate them on the roads of Rio.
Truths and tidbits of Driving in Rio
1. Using a signal to tell the driver that you are changing lanes is useless, he wont let you in anyway.
2. Lanes exist, except usually there is someone who creates a third lane on a two lane street to get through traffic. Usually motorcycle messengers, but can be small compact Fiat Uno following an ambulance.
3. Stopping at a red light is optional after midnight. Use the flashing amber light technique taught in Driver's Ed (slow down to see if it is safe to procede, no need to stop)
4. Taxis will cut in front of you. They don't care. They just want the next fare. If you rear end them, you will be responsible (even if it wasn't your fault, their brake lights tend to falter...) Be prepared to pay for 'lost work days'too. Needless to say, I keep an extra eye out for taxis, as I have already had a run-in with one.
5. IF someone does let you in, is courteous etc., a smile and a thumbs up gesture is the best way to thank them.
6. Always drive with windows rolled up, AC on and doors locked. Keep an eye on all your mirrors at stop lights, be aware of what is going on around your car.
Do not react to thieves, do not try to fight back. Keep your hands visible and let them take your purse, your cellphone, the car. Don't look them in the eye. Let them go...you can always get the material stuff back later. I was carjacked here in Rio and I am alive to tell about it.
NOTHING prepared me for driving on the streets of Rio de Janeiro. If any of my readers has gone around the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, and tried to get off of the go around, well then, you are partly prepared to deal with Rio traffic.
To own a car, one must pay an extranious tax (IPVA) in the neighborhood of 8% of the cars total value on a yearly basis. This tax is to be used for road maintenance. Which brings me to my next point, the road conditions. I wish I had a full time 4x4 4WD vehicle with super suspension. There are holes that have no bottom to them!!! Not only must one drive at Ayrton Senna speed, one must literally dodge the potholes at the same time. Needless to say, the IPVA is misused big time.....
Everyone thinks that they are the incarnation of Ayrton Senna or Nelson Piquet (espcially the men). I think its wonderful that the Brazilian Formula One drivers are doing so well this season, but that doesn't mean that one should emulate them on the roads of Rio.
Truths and tidbits of Driving in Rio
1. Using a signal to tell the driver that you are changing lanes is useless, he wont let you in anyway.
2. Lanes exist, except usually there is someone who creates a third lane on a two lane street to get through traffic. Usually motorcycle messengers, but can be small compact Fiat Uno following an ambulance.
3. Stopping at a red light is optional after midnight. Use the flashing amber light technique taught in Driver's Ed (slow down to see if it is safe to procede, no need to stop)
4. Taxis will cut in front of you. They don't care. They just want the next fare. If you rear end them, you will be responsible (even if it wasn't your fault, their brake lights tend to falter...) Be prepared to pay for 'lost work days'too. Needless to say, I keep an extra eye out for taxis, as I have already had a run-in with one.
5. IF someone does let you in, is courteous etc., a smile and a thumbs up gesture is the best way to thank them.
6. Always drive with windows rolled up, AC on and doors locked. Keep an eye on all your mirrors at stop lights, be aware of what is going on around your car.
Do not react to thieves, do not try to fight back. Keep your hands visible and let them take your purse, your cellphone, the car. Don't look them in the eye. Let them go...you can always get the material stuff back later. I was carjacked here in Rio and I am alive to tell about it.
Monday, July 21
Molho Canarioca
Ingredients:
red, green, yellow peppers
onions
flat leafed parsley
salt pepper
olive oil
lemon juice
)
Mince, mix, enjoy!!!
Wednesday, July 16
Mystery Falcon...Any Ornothologists Around??
This bird and her partner are in the midst of building a nest in the tree in front of my window. I have no clue as to what kind of eagle/falcon it is...Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Friday, July 11
Here There and Everywhere
I have been a lazy blogger lately, waiting for inspiration. I , however, have received some great feedback and comments on what I have written, along with some criticism. This is part of writing a blog and I do take all comments to heart. I was quite hurt by a comment received by a Brazilian woman in Rio de Janeiro.The point of my blog is to inform and educate no holds barred about life in Rio de Janeiro. I could sugar coat it, not unlike the type of friend that will tell you what you want to hear, or I could just tell it like it is, and that is my intent.
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